Questions & Answers
"Where do you draw the line between mothering and babying? My husband feels that I do to much for my son. We are a stepfamily and I am the biological parent of the 12-year-old. I still go to my son's side when he is throwing up, I get his medications for him, I go get him from school when he is feeling ill, I get up in the middle of the night when he can't sleep or gets sick. How much is too much?"
You sound like a wonderful, caring mom and your question is a good one. Don't stop being a loving mom for your 12-year-old son. Do whatever you feel in your heart that you need to do to show love to him and to take good care of his needs.
But your husband's concern is also valid. As children reach adolescence, we do need to help them become more self-reliant. A good rule of thumb is: to avoid doing things for a child that you know he can do himself. He will do better in life when he feels that he is capable of handling difficulties on his own. Help him where you must, but gradually let go as he gets older. He's still young, so there's no need to stop "mothering" altogether. I'm sure he appreciates your being there for him and your relationship is also very important.
To learn more or if you have any questions go to: http://www.understandingyourteenager.com/